The Tongue of the Wise - Spring 2013
April 14, 2013 :: Proverbs 16:24
Our new sermon series is called “The Tongue of the Wise” based on Proverbs 12:18, “Reckless words pierce like sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
And last week, we talked a lot about the first half of that verse: “Reckless words pierce like a sword.” We went to James chapter 3 and talked about the fearsome tongue. The fiery tongue is small but mighty and so often can derail the train of our lives. “Reckless words pierce like a sword.”
Was anybody reminded of that this week, maybe in a painful way?
What I wanted to do this week–before we began to tackle the various traps that our words can get us into and from which the gospel can rescue us–was to paint a picture of the other side of our key verse. “The tongue of the wise brings healing.”
I almost titled this message, “The other side of the verse.”
Because we often miss that! We only think about the bad side, about the danger and the destructive potential of the fearsome tongue.
But the Bible also paints a beautiful picture of the blessings that the tongue of the wise can bring. There is a whole other side to the tongue, to the power of our words.
Not words gone bad but words gone good!
“The tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Or to use today’s passage (Proverbs 16:24), “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Isn’t that a great word picture?
This is a honeycomb from Houston’s Schoolhouse Apiary.
Same kind of honeycomb they had back in Solomon’s day. Bees are bees the world around.
Yum. Tasty.
Isn’t great to come upon naturally occurring sweetness?
This proverb says that there are words, pleasant words, that are sweet like honey, like honey right from the honeycomb.
And they have a wonderful effect. They are not just pleasant but “sweet to the soul” and healing to the bones. I think that’s a reference to the body here.
They are good for the spirit and for the body.
There are spiritual benefits to pleasant words and even physical benefits to pleasant words.
Our words have great power not just for evil, but for good.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
That’s what I want to talk about today. “Sweet Words.” That’s our title for today, “Sweet Words.”
What are some of those kinds of sweet words?
When I told my family about this message that I was working on, I said, “Our mouths are not all bad. We can do good things with our mouths, too.” And Peter said, “Yeah! We can praise God.”
That’s right! And if we are creative, there are hundreds and thousands of ways to use our mouths for righteousness. If we use our sanctified imaginations, there are “pleasant words” at our disposal.
And this week, I just ransacked the book of Proverbs and picked out six.
Six kinds of sweet words.
These are not all of the kinds of pleasant words we can use, just six that jumped out at me as I was reading through Proverbs. They all have something to do with human relationships. And they all give us an idea of the vast arsenal of sweet words that are available to Christians to use.
Let’s do a quick survey of all six kinds of sweet words.
#1. A KIND WORD. Turn to Proverbs 12:25.
“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”
King James has, “Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.”
We all know this, don’t we?
Who here has been anxious this week?
I know I have.
Last week and this week, I have been working through a substantial edit on my book on resisting gossip, and it was really stressful and I had deadline, and I was not sure if I could get this done.
And I was calling my Dad nearly every day, all stressed out.
And my Dad every day had an encouraging word for me. A kind word.
And it cheered me up.
“An anxious heart weighs a man down [it’s heavy!], but a kind word cheers him up.”
The question is, do we have kind words for the people around us?
The people around us have cares. They are weighed down by anxieties. Life is heavy.
But, Christians, should have kind words that lift people up.
Who did you lift this week with your words?
We’ve probably all spoken an unkind word. But who have we said something kind to?
Who did you cheer up?
Who could you give a kind and honeyed word to today?
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
#2. AN HONEST ANSWER. Turn over to Proverbs 24:26.
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Talk about pleasant! Woo woo!
Solomon says that it’s as pleasurable as a kiss to get an honest answer.
My wife started something new in 2013. Every time I come home for a meal, she’s meeting me at the door with a kiss on the lips. And I love it.
This proverb says that honesty is like that.
We all know what dishonesty is like. Nobody like being lied to.
When I say, “sweet words,” I don’t mean “sickeningly sweet words.” Not flattery. That’s just another form of lying. Nobody like that.
And we don’t like it when people hide from us or give us an evasive answer.
How sweet it is when someone gives you a nice direct honest answer.
Maybe not what you wanted to hear but you know it’s the truth, right?
Let’s be like that, as much as we can. Let’s give people honest answers.
Straight up. Clear. Not equivocating. Not hiding. Not lying. Not flattering. Truthful.
An honest answer.
It’s like a kiss on the lips.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
#3. EARNEST COUNSEL. Turn over to Proverbs 27:9.
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.”
Now I don’t know how you feel about perfume or incense. Not everybody has the same tastes in smells as everyone else.
But Solomon here assumes that perfume and incense are good thing, pleasant things.
If you don’t like those kinds of smells, then substitute in your kind of smells.
Bacon frying. Right?
For some of you, candles.
For some of you, apple pie in the oven.
For some of you, it’s that greasy garage smell, or the smell of the barn that really makes you feel good.
I love the smell of Cook Forest after a rain.
That’s pleasant.
Solomon says, “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart [ummm], and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.”
Earnest counsel.
That’s telling somebody what to do!
And really meaning it. Really telling somebody what they ought to do.
“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.”
We can actually tell if someone is truly a friend if they give earnest counsel.
Because if they don’t care, they won’t share it.
Now, there are times to give that counsel and times not to give that counsel.
And wise person will know the difference between those times.
Often, the times that we should offer earnest counsel are those times when it has been asked for! =D
But when it is asked for, a true friend offers earnest counsel. They aren’t ambivalent about your life and your choices. They want what’s best for you, and they offer advice to help you get there.
When I look around this room, I see a number of people who have looked out for my best interests and given me earnest counsel.
And those words are sweet words for me that I cherish.
Maybe I didn’t at the time! But if I’m wise I recognize that earnest counsel is a pleasant word like “a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Sometimes that earnest counsel has to be offered sharply. It has to be a rebuke–an earnest counsel to stop doing something that is going to bring harm.
#4. A LIFE-GIVING REBUKE. Turn to Proverbs 15:31 with me.
“He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
“A life-giving rebuke.” That’s not a phrase you don’t hear every day.
We tend to think of rebukes as being bad things. Maybe something that is a necessary evil.
But if we are genuinely loving others, we will rebuke them in love and rebuke them to help them to experience a better life.
That’s what a “life-giving rebuke” is. It’s a rebuke that is offered in love to help someone experience a better life.
That’s hard to do. It’s hard to speak and hard to take.
But Solomon says (v.31), “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
That’s a major theme in the Proverbs. Proverbs 17:10 says, “A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool.” I know which one of those I’d rather have!
Proverbs 25:12 says, “Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.”
It’s valuable to humbly receive a life-giving rebuke.
A few weeks ago, my wife pulled me aside and rebuked me. She told me that I had recently been unnecessarily harsh with our children when disciplining them. They had begun to shy away from me if they thought that they might need some correction.
I didn’t like hearing that from Heather. But I took it to heart. I needed to hear that. It was valuable to me. And as I changed my approach, it was life-giving to me.
Verse 31 again, “He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
I don’t know about you, but I want to be at home among the wise! That’s where I want to live. I want to live in Wisdomville!
And I want to help others to live there, too.
One kind of genuinely sweet, honeycomb word is a life-giving rebuke.
But so often, I chicken out.
The last two days, I had opportunities to deliver life giving rebukes that I passed up.
I even realized that I was doing it, to my shame. I failed in love in those situations by not speaking up.
How about you? When was the last time you offered a life-giving rebuke?
Or received one well?
“He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise.”
But what if they don’t receive it well? What if they are all angry and up in your face?
#5. A GENTLE ANSWER. A gentle answer is a honeycomb. Look at verse 1 of chapter 15.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
We’ve all seen this principle at work, too, haven’t we?
Somebody is all up in your face and angry, and if you respond calmly and carefully and self-composed, it makes a huge difference.
Instead of answering tit for tat, anger for anger–a gentle word.
A kind word. A merciful word. A soft-spoken word. Makes a huge difference!
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
I know that’s not easy to do.
If someone brings me a harsh word, I want to bring a harsh word back.
But then it just escalates. It just gets worse.
A gentle answer diffuses the situation.
It takes self-control, which is the fruit of the Holy Spirit. But it is possible.
And people love to be around people who are self-controlled.
Did you ever notice that? People love to be around people who can control themselves.
Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.”
But people love to make friends with those who can turn aside someone’s anger with a gentle word.
You can do it. You can hold in that angry word.
Don’t say it! Don’t post it on Facebook! Don’t press “send” on the text message. Don’t let it out.
Use a gentle word instead.
A gentle word is a pleasant word.
And “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Number Six. Again these are not the only 6 kinds of pleasant words in the Proverbs, just six I found this week. There are tons more.
The Tongue of the Wise brings healing. There are countless ways to use our tongues for righteousness.
Here’s number 6 and last for today.
#6. FITTING PRAISE.
Turn to the last chapter of Proverbs, chapter 31 and verse 30.
Yes, this is the chapter about the Excellent Wife. What to look for in a potential bride.
And what to do with her once you got her.
At the end of the alphabet-led-list of godly virtues she possesses, it says (v.28).
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
The principle I’m pointing to here is that it is right and good to praise someone who has earned it.
Her children praise her.
Her husband praises her.
He brings up her name for praise at City Hall.
She has earned it. V.30
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
It’s right to praise her. It’s earned. It’s deserved. It’s fitting.
So, it’s right for us to praise people, to commend them for the good things they do.
When was the last time you told someone, “Good job!” “I like that.” “Well done.” “I’m proud of you.” ?
This last week, I was really impressed with my wife’s teaching of our children.
I was working the in basement, and I could hear her hard at work impressing not just spelling and math to the kids but also shepherding their hearts as she did it.
And I came up to her more than once and quoted v.26 of this chapter:
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
Good job. Thank you for doing that!
It can be a little embarrassing to talk like that. To go around praising people.
But it’s right. It’s the right thing to do.
Two years ago, I read a book called “Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise of Those Who Are Not God.”
There is a chapter in there called “100 Affirmation Ideas for Those Who Feel Stuck.”
A hundred ideas of how to praise other people!
Not to flatter them. That’s “unfitting praise.”
But fitting praise.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
Let’s learnt to talk like that.
Those are pleasant words. Sweet words.
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Messages in this Series:
1. The Fearsome Tongue
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