Loving My Children, a New Blog by Katie Faris

Our friend, Katie Faris, has begun a new blog with more of her musings on mothering.

This was the subject of her first book which I interviewed her about previously and endorsed with this recommendation:

What do diapers, lullabies, laundry, and cleaning behind the baby's ears have to do with the gospel? Everything! In this gem of a book, our friend Katie Faris winsomely shares biblical wisdom on seeking the best for the children God has loaned us. Katie knows what she's talking about--we've seen her mothering in action--and she writes well. Sweet but not sentimental, direct but not demanding, Loving My Children helpfully connects the Bible's teaching on grace, sovereignty, and sanctification to the everyday hard work of being a mom. Heather and I highly recommend it.

Katie is always thoughtful and careful, and she has a way with words. I commend her writings to you, especially if you are a Christian mom looking for encouragement along what is often a twisty and difficult path.

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"Gossip Chemotherapy" by Brian Dainsberg

Pastor Brian Dainsberg has wrapped up his short series based upon Resisting Gossip with a great brief post with three reflections on how believers can overcome gossip:

1. Wisely steward your use of words.

2. Rest in the gospel.

3. Plead with God for help.

My favorite lines:  "If God created words, I bet he has in mind how he wants us to use them." and "Of all the things we ask God for, I do believe prayers for holiness are prayers he's eager to answer." Amen, Brian, and thanks for the encouragement.

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The Funny Forgotten Backstory of "Resisting Gossip" at SteveKMcCoy.com

Funny story:

Last month, I was googling myself and the book (not always the best idea), and I found a link to a 2006 post about gossip at stevekmccoy.com, a blog that I have frequented over the years.

And, strangely, enough, while reading it, I found myself commenting in the comments!

I had pretty much completely forgotten about this 8 year old conversation (though the emoticons were definitely me), but what really surprised me was my tongue-in-cheek plan to someday write a "biblical, systematic, but practical" book on the problem of gossip!

Steve's got a little post on this forgotten "backstory" at his blog and on his Twitter today, he says:

Commenting on a blog could change your life! http://t.co/cbsexZOXQ5
— Steve McCoy (@stevekmccoy) January 23, 2014

True. And it can change your life without you even remembering it! Thanks, Steve, for your excellent blog.

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Ann Beaulieu's #1 Book for 2013

Author and blogger Ann Beaulieu has named Resisting Gossip as her #1 Book for 2013.

Thanks, Ann, for this honor. You've made my day again!

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Deb Welch Reviews "Resisting Gossip"

Deb Welch has named Resisting Gossip to her top 20 books of 2013 and double starred it as part of her top 10 at her blog All Things New.

Deb has also posted a strongly encouraging review on GoodReads.

She notes some of the reasons why teaching on gossip has gotten a bad rap in our day and ends with a comparison of Resisting Gossip to Paul Miller's A Praying Life. In the middle, Deb shares her evaluation of the book and how it influenced her:

Into the void, steps Matt Mitchell with his thoroughly biblical handling, pastoral care, and positively convicting message. This is the kind of book that when one finishes reading, it is impossible to be the same again. The beginning part of the book helped me to grow in my understanding of my own sinful heart, putting aside my self-justification and rationalization. But alongside that positively convicting heart surgery, Matt's approach is truly to move toward walking in light and truth -- not for us to dwell in the spirit of condemnation. This book has completely changed my perspective on how I view, speak about and write about other believers, and the church.

Thanks, Deb! I'm so glad to hear that you found it biblical, helpful, and encouraging.

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Mark Lauterbach's TGC Review of "Resisting Gossip"

Veteran pastor Mark Lauterbach has reviewed Resisting Gossip at the Gospel Coalition book review site.

Mark was one of my critical readers who initially helped develop the manuscript. He didn't give very many points of evaluation back then, but the ones he did were extremely valuable. For example, Mark suggested that you can't "gossip-proof a church" (my original title for the bonus chapter for church leaders) which led me to change that section to the much more realistic goal (though hard enough!) of cultivating "gossip resistant" churches.

In his TGC review, Mark begins with how the book struck him personally as a "needed surprise," then evaluates it as a tool for gospel-centered discipleship and as an "ounce of prevention:"

Resisting Gossip is also useful for pastors, as an ounce of prevention, in equipping their flocks to preserve unity. The unity of the Spirit is a precious thing, for by it we display the reality of Christ. The unity of the Spirit is also a fragile thing, however. Gossip kills unity. It creates suspicions, diminishes trust, and questions motives. It frays the fabric of unity, and does so invisibly at first. But when conflict goes public, the prejudice and judgments of the heart created and fed by gossip will add fuel to the fires. The fabric will tear.

He goes on to suggest 3 areas for further exploration that he says Resisting Gossip addresses in principle but still need a much wider discussion of particular implications and applications. I thoroughly agree!

Mark's conclusion:

Gossip is not a small issue. Loose lips have sunk ships, ruined reputations, and destroyed the unity of local congregations. Protecting each other’s good name is a mark of Christ’s love, and giving diligence to preserve the unity he created means killing gossip. This book will be helpful in pursuing these things.

Thanks, Mark. I certainly hope so!

Read the whole thing.

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"Resisting Gossip" in Kevin DeYoung's Top Ten Books of 2013

Kevin DeYoung, a pastor, prolific author, and blogger, has included Resisting Gossip in his top ten books of 2013.

I am joyfully honored and humbled, especially because I have high regard for DeYoung's opinions, especially about theological/ministry books!

He writes:

This list is not meant to assess the thousands of Christian books published each year, let alone every interesting book published in 2013. I read a lot of books, but there are plenty of worthy titles that I never touch (and never hear of). This is simply a list of the books (Christian and non-Christian, but all non-fiction) that I thought were the best in the past year.

When I say “best” I have several questions in mind:

•    Was this book well written and enjoyable to read?
•    Did I find it personally challenging, illuminating, edifying, or entertaining?
•    Is it a book I am likely to reread or consult often?
•    Do I see myself frequently recommending this book to others?

The books that score well in all categories are “best” and make their way on Top Ten lists.

And then he offers this highly encouraging assessment (see screen-capture below):

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"Resisting Gossip" in Joe Valenti's Top Ten Books of 2013

Blogger, musician, and pastor Joe Valenti has included Resisting Gossip as #4 in his top ten books of 2013.

He says:

The top 4 choices were a close call. All of these are excellent. This is one of the few books this year that was so helpful that I wrote a full review. My youth group is currently passing this around so much that I have lost track of who has it. See my full review HERE.

Thanks, Joe! You are a mega-encourager.

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"Resisting Gossip" in Tim Challies' Top Books of 2013

Rejoice with me!

Tim Challies has included Resisting Gossip among eight of his top books of 2013. 

He says these books "are almost certainly not the 8 best books of 2013 in any objective sense; rather, they are my favorites, the ones that have remained in my mind and impacted my life since I read them" and that Resisting Gossip "is a book that will benefit any reader and any church and I have referred to it often since reading it."

Wow. That comes from someone whose opinion about books I highly respect and among other books that I think are great ones.

I feel like a need a new word amid the blessings of recent days. "Encouraging" just doesn't cut it any more.

Thank you, Tim, for your kind words. I am humbled and thankful, and I hope that the book helps folks to grow in godliness and to win the war of the wagging tongue where it rages the fiercest--our hearts.

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Stephen Altrogge on Internet Arson

Stephen Altrogge at "The Blazing Center" has written a great little post discouraging people from being internet arsonists.

Quoting James 3, Stephen says:

The Internet makes it so easy to be an arsonist. To set the world on fire. To be a walking napalm. To go through the day spraying virtual gasoline on everything and everyone.

Writing as a fellow struggler, Stephen also has good insights why the Internet makes the temptation stronger, on what to do instead and reminds that we will have to give an account for "[E]very spoken word, every text message, every Facebook update, every Tweet, every Pin, every Instagram."

This post is an apple of gold in a setting of silver (Prov 25:11) and applies, of course, to resisting sinful gossip, as well.

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Challies on "The 5 Gossips You Will Meet"

Yesterday, Tim Challies posted another article related to Resisting Gossip, a short summary of and elaboration on chapter 3, "A Gallery of Gossips."

It's called "The 5 Gossips You Will Meet" and introduces readers to the Spy, the Grumbler, the Backstabber, the Chameleon, and the Busybody.

Remember: these five are not the only types of gossips that exist in this world! Our hearts are very creative in mixing up new motivations. These are just five common types which we find in the Scriptures that driven by at least five ordinary (but ungodly) motivations. It's not the last word on the subject, but hopefully a helpful first word.

One thing that Tim's article doesn't have space to go into is that the gospel addresses each of those heart-level motivations with powerful promises that provide that forgiveness and sanctifying grace that Tim alludes to in his conclusion. In that chapter and my forthcoming article on this in the Journal of Biblical Counseling, I try to show gospel antidotes to each of them so that, by grace, we can grow out of being gossips.

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Strong Encouragement from Tim Challies

While enjoying some great big family time (and tasty turkey!) yesterday, I saw this super-encouraging tweet from popular blogger and prolific book reviewer Tim Challies--"This may be one of the best and most important books you've never heard of:" with a link to the Kindle version of Resisting Gossip.

When I went to that page, I saw that he had posted his super-encouraging review there, as well.

Update:  I just saw that Challies has also included Resisting Gossip in his list of notable books at WORLD Magazine today online and in the December 14th print issue.

Thanks, Tim, for your strong encouragement and for helping others to know about the book! I feel blessed.

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Two Great Articles I Read Yesterday

Here are two articles I read yesterday that both have ties to resisting gossip:

Don't Tell Me Your Kid's Sins by Megan Hill at the Gospel Coalition

Christian parents might feel above this kind of crass oversharing, but, often, we are not. From blogs to Bible studies—wherever parents gather—stories of children's misbehavior flow freely. It's not unusual for a mother to walk in to a gathering of Christian women, sullen child in tow, and proceed to tell everyone about her young child's last hour of disobedience. Frequently, the women of the group will listen, roll their eyes, and groan in sympathy. Most parents have been in a similar situation, and perhaps we have told some of the stories ourselves.

Parents announce their children's sins for a variety of reasons. Being a parent is a lonely job, and we can wrongly use our children's sinful antics to build camaraderie with other parents. We can also be personally frustrated by our children's actions and leverage the telling of their sins to justify our own impatience and anger. And, particularly online, we sometimes tell our children's sins as a way to establish our family's authentic credentials as "real" and "broken" people.

None of these is a good reason to forget that our children are also our biblical neighbors. I may have authority over my children, but I don't own them or their stories. My children are neither my possessions nor extensions of myself. They are image-bearing individuals with souls that will last forever. And one of my first obligations to my children is to treat them with kindness and dignity as my neighbors. I am obligated to look out for their interests (Phil. 2:4), and I must treat my children as I desire to be treated (Matt. 7:12). Even when it comes to their sin.

This seems like it could easily fall into bearing bad news behind our kids backs out of a bad heart (i.e. parental gossip).  Read the whole thing.

Why We Click Stupid Links by Tony Reinke at Desiring God.

By “stupid links,” I mean hyperlinks on the Web that do nothing but tap our kneejerk curiosity. They do little for us because they have little to offer. We click, we read, we watch, and often we feel dumber for it.

Such clamorous links litter the Internet, offering up celebrity gossip, bizarre crime stories, violent videos, and sexual images — each link asking for little more than a click (such a petty request).

Reinke invokes Augustine (whose birthday was yesterday) for a little soul-searching on what Augustine called "vain curiosities."

There’s a vain curiosity attracted to vanity and emptiness, and there’s a sanctified curiosity drawn in all things toward God’s beauty. This possibility is presented to us in every hyperlink.

And so Augustine emerges from history to ask us three reflective questions about our browsing history:

Am I seeking out hyperlinks that offer me a promising pathway to see more of God’s beauty?

Or, are my hyperlink habits unregulated, prompted by some inner whim, and terminating on nothing more than my vain curiosity?

Or, most tragic of all, are the hyperlinks I click on really just a series of pint-size, pothole cisterns out of which I hope to slurp up a little gratification for my empty soul?

Read the whole thing.

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Amazon Review of "Resisting Gossip" by Daniel Holmquist

Daniel Holmquist of Just Get On the Plane posted a review at Amazon this week:

Matt Mitchell’s new book "Resisting Gossip" is filled with highly practical advice, simple Biblical counsel and really great stories! His definition of gossip is worth memorizing, “The sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.”

The author presents his material in a clear and accessible way. He is honest about his own failures and successes. And this vulnerability helps the readers do the same, especially as Matt consistently applies the Gospel to all of us throughout the book.

Dr. Mitchell says on page 95, “When I started my research on this book, I was hoping to find a one-size-fits-all approach that could be automatically deployed. But life is messier than that, and God’s wisdom is better than that too.”

I share his convictions on the messiness of life and the wisdom of God in dealing with it all. Christians will make a significant difference in our society by coming to grips with gossip and carefully teaching others about it, even potentially resulting in many Gospel conversations.

Not all books do a good job with group discussion questions, but this one does. Each chapter ends with well-written discussion questions people will actually use. And the bonus chapter for church leaders on cultivating a gossip-resistant church will be especially advantageous for many, but only if they read the rest of the book first!

***

If you've had a chance to read it, visit the Resisting Gossip Amazon Page to leave your own review.

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Hot Orthodoxy on Life Letters Cafe

I've recently joined the group of Christian "Life Notes" bloggers at Life Letters Cafe, a multi-author site of Christian encouragement founded by David Miller.

I enjoyed meeting David on the phone last week--a very generous and encouraging fellow! I appreciate what he said about this blog:

What the entire Life Notes blog team has in common is the desire for you today to find God’s grace in new ways and proven ways . . . so that by faith . . . you can hit just the right Life Notes in your pursuit of Christ  . . . and those who have yet to know Him!

I don't have much up there yet. I will be sharing things I've already written for Hot Orthodoxy (my first post is a review of Stop the Runaway Conversation) and an occasional post just for Life Notes.

If you need encouragement today, stop over there and see if God has something just for you.

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Hot Orthodoxy in Finland

Well, I never saw this one coming.

Selected articles from this blog are now being translated and re-blogged (with my permission) in Finnish by a Christian brother named Simo Papunen (aka "Toimitus").

Toimitus runs a blog called Uskon kilpi -- "The Shield of Faith."  And the first series of posts will be from last year's sermon series on the book of Ruth.

Thanks, Simo, for your ministry. I pray that it will encourage believers in Finland and reach new people for Christ!

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Trevin Wax on Resisting Gossip

Trevin Wax says that this article is worth a look (originally posted at RonEdmonson.com):

Five Alternatives to Gossip at "Flourish," the NAMB Ministry Wives Blog

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Bob Kelleman on "Resisting Gossip"

Bob Kelleman, of RPM Ministries and the Biblical Counseling Coalition says:

“Does the gospel have anything to say about gossip? Matt Mitchell’s engaging writing demonstrates that every Christian needs to understand the hope-giving promises of the Gospel for addressing the heart issues behind gossip. Building upon a relevant biblical definition of gossip, Resisting Gossip empowers believers to apply the Gospel to uproot the weeds of gossip. Mitchell’s principles for cultivating a gossip-resistant church were worth the proverbial price of the book.” —Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition, Author of Equipping Counselors for Your Church

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Greg Strand on "Resisting Gossip"

Greg Strand highlighted Resisting Gossip today on his excellent blog (of which I read every post because of how deeply I respect Greg's theological acumen and pastoral heart).

After giving a taste of the book's contents and surveying recent reviews, he adds his evaluation:

Karen, my dear wife, asked me, “Do you have this book? It looks good.” My response. I do, and it is!

Thanks, Greg!

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Tim Challies on "Resisting Gossip"

Tim Challies reviews Resisting Gossip:

I do not consider myself particularly prone to gossip. At least, I didn’t. But this book showed me that I may be more susceptible than I like to think. I tend to be comfortably legalistic by keeping my definitions so narrow that they exclude me. But by widening the definition of gossip—and doing so biblically, I believe—Mitchell showed me that I may be more of a gossip than I care to admit. And isn’t it interesting that I kept trying to rewrite that sentence to keep from labelling myself a gossip. I will own being drawn to it or prone to it, but I resist owning it.

I enjoyed Resisting Gossip in the most lasting sense, because there were several areas in which it challenged and criticized me and then offered me hope. 

Read the whole thing.

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