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Monday, September 09, 2013

What They're Saying About YOU

What I liked best about Julian Freeman's recent post on gossip (see below) is that it deals with a side of gossip we don't think about very often (and I've thought about gossip a lot!).  It's not just the popular line, "Someone who gossips to you will gossip about you." That's true, too, but Julian is saying that a gossiping person is actually saying something about you just by bringing you their whispers.

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Julian Freeman asks the compelling gossip question, "Don't You Know What They're Saying About You?"
When someone begins gossiping to us, we like it. It makes us feel ‘in the know.’ It makes us feel approved of by the person whispering. It makes much of us by making little of others, and that’s what our flesh loves.
We love being gossiped to because it makes us feel trusted and important. We love knowing more about other people. We want to be in the loop. We want to know what everyone is saying about so-and-so.
But here’s the thing we need to realize: Whenever someone is talking to you about others, they’re actually saying something about you.
What they’re saying about you, by gossiping to you, is that you’re the type of person who would appreciate some yummy gossip. They are telling you that they believe you have an appetite for slander. While whispering to you about others privately, they’re actually declaring loudly and clearly that you, like them, are a gossip and a slanderer. 
Rather than feeling approved of, trusted, and loved, when someone begins whispering to us, we should feel offended that they would regard us as someone who would delight in such debased conversation.
Read the whole thing.

[HT: Challies]

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